POV: The After Wedding Blues

Episode Title 32 Depression After the Wedding

After months (or years) of meticulous planning, the wedding day comes and goes in the blink of an eye, leaving behind a whirlwind of memories, emotions, and sometimes, an unexpected feeling of emptiness. In this episode of The Flower Files, Lizzie, a floral designer and newlywed, shares her personal experience of post-wedding blues and how it affected her as both a bride and a professional in the wedding industry.

The Joy and Pressure of Planning

As a floral designer deeply entrenched in the wedding world, Lizzie approached her wedding with high expectations. From the outset, she knew the vendors she wanted and had a clear vision of the design. However, even with her expertise, there was an underlying pressure to create something extraordinary—not just for her guests but also for herself.

Lizzie loved her ceremony, held under a grand old oak tree on her family farm. The sentimental value of the location was amplified by her grandfather, who restored the childhood swing she played on as a kid. She adorned it with flowers, making it one of the most meaningful parts of her day. However, when it came to the reception, Lizzie admits she wishes she had spent more time perfecting the floral arrangements and decor, especially since the ceremony lasted only about 30 minutes, while the reception took up the rest of the evening.

A Creative’s Internal Struggle

As a creative professional, Lizzie faced a unique challenge: balancing her desire to execute a perfect wedding while trying to be present in the moment. “I was so focused on work stuff in the morning because I got up at 5:30 to do the tree,” she recalls. As the wedding day approached, she felt the weight of being both the bride and a vendor, juggling her floral responsibilities while trying to enjoy her big day.

For Lizzie, the wedding wasn’t just an event; it was the culmination of years of passion for floral design. She poured herself into every detail, from the compotes on the tables to the sage green paper invitations she sourced from the Netherlands, sealed with gold wax stamps. But once the wedding was over, she experienced a feeling she hadn’t anticipated—post-wedding blues.

Understanding Post-Wedding Blues

Is it normal to feel sad after the wedding? Absolutely, says Lizzie. The thrill of planning, the excitement of seeing everything come together, and the joy of celebrating with loved ones can leave a void once it’s all over. For Lizzie, the transition from bride to vendor (and back to bride) was particularly emotional. “It was like a second job,” she admits, reflecting on how much energy she poured into the wedding, both personally and professionally.

The blues aren’t necessarily about regret. For Lizzie, it was more about the abrupt shift from months of planning to a single day of celebration, followed by a return to everyday life. “Now what?” she asked herself after the dust settled. While she loved every aspect of her wedding, she acknowledges that the post-wedding blues hit her harder than she expected, especially since she continued to work in the wedding industry, helping other brides create their magical days.

Moving Forward After the Wedding

One of the most important lessons Lizzie shares is to be kind to yourself during this transition. She stresses the importance of leaning on friends and family, who were her biggest support system post-wedding. She also encourages brides to embrace the feelings they have after the wedding and to talk about them, whether with loved ones or by finding resources online.

For Lizzie, replaying her wedding photos and videos has been a source of comfort. “I replay our vows and ceremony music all the time,” she says, noting how these memories bring her peace. She also emphasizes the importance of sleep, self-care, and communication with your partner during this time of adjustment.

Final Thoughts: Be Present and Be Assertive

In retrospect, Lizzie wishes she had been more assertive about her wants and needs on the wedding day. Her advice to other brides is to speak up, make decisions that make you happy, and not worry too much about pleasing everyone else. “Be more selfish about your day,” she advises, because, in the end, it’s a celebration of you and your partner.

While post-wedding blues may affect every bride differently, Lizzie’s experience highlights that it’s a normal and valid feeling. The wedding day may be over, but the memories and love remain—and sometimes, all you need is a little grace and time to adjust to the new chapter of life.

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